Toward headline excellence

Participants were given a set of headlines. On one side were heads we've run and on the other were alternatives. In a session led by Detroit Free Press Chief of Copy Desks Alex Cruden, participants made their choices and discussed what qualities were superior.

Conclusions:

• We liked clarity.
• Fresh diction is great. Not only the content but the language itself should convey a sense of discovery, of what's special about a story.
• Being specific is good, but if a figurative phrase will strike more chords, then use it. And move, accurately, away from the literal and toward the conversational.
• Tone is important, even in news headlines. For full accuracy and impact, the headline's tone should match the stories and should be in tune with reader expectations. For example, don't be cold when people die; don't be analytical when we should be helpful or entertaining.
• Change the spex when we can't say what we should.
• Request a label if that will allow a headline to then communicate.
• Write from the reader's point of view, not the institution's.

Four readers came to a session, by invitation, to help us with headlines. Recruiting and Development Editor Joe Grimm enlivened the session by casting it as a game show, "The Head Is Right." He showed one headline at a time, without stories, and asked: What do you think the story is about? Would you read it?

Demographically wide-ranging, the panelists were all Free Press readers for at least 15 years (some starting in childhood). Their reactions led to these conclusions:

• Without clarity, headlines fail. We need to be clear both in using language and in saying what the story is about.
• Clarity is better than cleverness, compression, sophistication or simply good intentions.
• Don't try too hard — just tell the story.
• Headlines that convey human spirit or achievement get a lot of readership.
• Lively language helps, but don't try to oversell.
• Very familiar abbreviations are OK, especially within context.
• Less-familiar names need a lot of context.
• Headlines that convey news so clearly that one doesn't need to read the story are greatly appreciated.
• In Detroit, don't use "Metro" unless a reader can quickly tell what it means. Each of the four panelists thought it meant something different: Metro Beach, Metro Airport, metropolitan Detroit and a Metropark. Other cities have their own peculiarities.

A group can come up with great headlines, even on stories that aren't written yet, Free Press Sports Editor Gene Myers showed. In many instances of big coverage, we can predict the two or three possible outcomes. So, in advance, let's come up with the special ways to say it. Play off the readers' expectations. Methods:

• Create a file in the computer for all to contribute to
• Hold an informal meeting
• Have people look at the page on a Mac
• Invite headlines from outside the department
• Look at the big art and write accordingly.