Writing tighter while writing well

The best newspapers run stories in a variety of lengths. Clear, readable dailies; good yarns; brights and shorts; the occasional narrative, series, or takeout. Long or short, though, stories should earn their length. We have become more vigilant about this in recent months, because the news hole grows and shrinks with the economy. Right now, it's shrinking.

So how do we pack the same amount of news into less space? It's all in selection - the scenes you choose, the details you include, the words you pick, the people you quote. Writing is an act of choice and control; either you make deliberate choices, or you make inadvertent ones. Either you control the story, or it controls you. Here are some thoughts on getting your story to behave exactly as you would like - coming in docile, on time, logically organized and at the right length.

• Write a budget
  We often turn in budgets that are the lede of the story rather than its nut graf. These budgets are nice for showing off pretty writing or a compelling anecdote, but they're useless as a tool for focusing. Try writing a nut graf as your early budget. Writing a quick, clear paragraph that synopsizes the story forces you to focus. Your completed story will have a clearer point, be easier to write and be much more likely to be written to length.
  
  
• Tell one story.
  "My story has many arms."
  "My story is going in a whole bunch of directions."
  "I have too much information." If you don't focus before you write, you'll likely not focus at all. The result will be a story that sprawls, confuses the reader and runs long. Figure out the one story you want to tell, or the one point you need to make, and then don't let yourself get sidetracked. Remember: There are such things as graphics, sidebars and folos.
  
  
• Read aloud.
  Wordiness is more apparent when you read aloud. You'll hear when you've repeated yourself; you'll be able to tell when sentences go on too long. If you're gasping for air by the time you hit the period, the period came too late.
  
  
• Shorten your sentences.
  In general, you want crisp, clear sentences, with one thought per sentence. There's power in short sentences if you've picked vibrant verbs and concrete nouns. By eliminating adjectives, adverbs and multiple examples, you can shorten your story and give it more punch. Save the long sentences for thoughts, ideas and observations that deserve the space.
  
  
• Kill your babies.
  Often, reporters tuck asides and observations into stories where they don't belong. If you're looking to trim, consider these doomed.
  
  
• Don't quote everybody.
  Deep reporting is crucial, but unless it's a sensitive, controversial story you don't have to quote several people making the same point. In features, we sometimes feel obligated to quote people because they've given us their time and opened their hearts. But our final obligation is to the reader, not the source. Drop a note thanking the source for his time. Warn him that he might not make print.
  
  
• Don't tell everything.
  In news stories: Pick your points. Don't try to cram in everything you know. Become the expert, and then distill the information. In narratives - or any chronological stories - we often think we need to lead the reader every step of the way. Not true. Think stepping stones, not a sidewalk. Pick your scenes and stitch them together with transition. Make the path clear, and the reader will follow.
  
  
• Measure frequently.
  From the moment you begin writing, keep your budgeted length in the front of your mind. H&J the story as you go, to see how you're doing. If you're budgeted at 20 inches and you're already at 12 by the end of the nut graf, you're in trouble.
  
  
• Don't use three words when one word will do.
  Think of all those wordy phrases we stick into our stories, especially when we're on deadline and we go on autopilot:
  In a surprise move ... will conduct an investigation into ... made a statement that... despite the fact that... Say they are the opinion of... make use of... In the amount of... on an experimental basis ... in the vicinity of... at this point in time.
  There are zillions of them. They're dangerous and sneaky, because we are so used to them that we read right past them. But look at how many words you could save if you took a fresh look and trimmed. Look at how much more punch your sentences could have. (Note: You can read more about this in Chapter Three, "Clutter," of William Zinsser's book "On Writing Well.")
  
  
• Write a first draft without notes.
  You'll remember the good stuff. You'll forget the irrelevant stuff. Paging through your notebook as you compose is a good way to toss all kinds of unnecessary stuff into a story.
  
  
• Do you really need all that attribution?
  Often, you don't.
  
  
• Be concrete.
  Instead of "procure," how about "buy"? Instead of prior to," how about "before"? Instead of "conduct an investigation into," how about "investigate"? Concrete sentences are clear. They are uncluttered. They are understandable. They often are short.
  
  
• Give yourself time.
  Remember that it takes longer to write short than it does to write long. Writing short requires more rewriting and more self-editing. As Zinsser says, "Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident. Very few sentences come out right the first time, or even the third time. Remember this in moments of despair."