Achieve pertinence - Let people 'see' your story

"Put more images into your story."

"Show. Don't tell."

"Details, details, details!"

"Don't you want people to 'see' your story?"

Writers consistently hear or read these words. From editors. From speakers. From experts' tip sheets.

But what do they mean? What details should go into a story? How do you get them? And how do you prevent editors from trimming (or, probably in a reporter's words, whacking) details from a story?

Well-placed and relevant details can enliven your story and make your readers see, smell, hear and even touch your story.

The key to finding pertinent details is to find the best ones -- ones that are pertinent to your story's focus. It's framing your story like a photographer does with a portrait. The framing helps you cut unimportant details that tend to clutter.

So to help you frame and find pertinent details, here are five questions and answers to consider:

1. Q. Do the details help identify a key subject of your story?

   A. Specific references -- names and nicknames -- are important when they help readers understand your subject better or know more about a key characteristic of that person's personality. Those include a relative or pet mentioned prominently in a story. Objects, such as car names, also help identify a person's personality. For example, writing that someone drives a Corvette or Mercedes says much more than writing a person drives a vehicle or car. Writing that someone loves Wheaties provides a much different image than writing that someone loves cereal.

2. Q. Is the description of the person or event important for readers to understand your story?

   A. It is when you're writing a profile, feature or news story in which the description is needed to help readers identify or identify with the subject or event. Examples would be how a clown dresses and an actor performs a certain part. Mannerisms and hobbies also can provide important details to help understand your story's subject. In event coverage, details also can help readers determine how an event is different. For example, a story on a protest needs details such as what the signs say or what the protesters are yelling.

3. Q. When are the surroundings important?

   A. When they provide insight into why people react the way they do. Items on a desk or in a home might be important in describing a person. So find and ask about them.

4. Q. How do I get details in my notes?

   A. Use the margins on the left side of your notebook. Write them at the top of a page on a larger yellow pad. But find room to write them somewhere in your notes. And place them there while asking a generic question, such as "What did you think of the windy weather today?"

5. Q. How do I keep the editors from cutting the "pertinent" details from my story?

   A. Unless you're famous for your flowing and glowing prose, talk to your supervising editor about the important details. Place notes at the top that request that certain sentences or paragraphs be left in your story. Or, request that your editor place the note there. Be proactive about your writing instead of reactive. (Also, editors must be careful not to cut pertinent details from a story.)

At a National Writers' Workshop, William Woo used T.S. Eliot's "Little Gidding" as an example of why details are vital to any literary work.

• "Ash on an old man's sleeve
• "Is all the ash the burn roses leave
• "Dust in the air suspended
• "Marks the place where a story ended."

"You can look on those lines as kind of a reporter's credo -- to note detail and find a way to write about it," said Woo, a longtime editor and educator. "By finding out what happened to the minutest detail. What's that ash on your sleeve? How did the roses burn? What's the dust in the air? Tell me the story and how it ended."